The past two Sunday’s, two middle school boys have faithfully been coming to Sunday school and church. Scott has recruited them to help with the garden so they are constantly over at the Moore’s throughout the week. Today during Sunday school, the boys were talking about what it really means to be a Christian. I tried my best to explain to them, however they still seemed a little confused. There was one boy in particular who was intrigued the most. He kept saying things like, “But I still cuss” my reply was “Man, I do too”. It was a moment of honesty and openness as I tried to explain to them that no one is perfect. Even though I choose to follow Christ, I AM STILL I SINNER. I am not perfect. I mess up all the time. I kindly explained to them that they would continue to mess up as well, but the beautiful thing about it is that we don’t have to pay the price for our "mess ups”. Our gracious, loving and heavenly Father sent his only son, Jesus, to pay that price for us. And since Jesus conquered death and rose from the grave we are made perfect and sinless in the eyes of the Father. Jesus absorbs ALL of our sins. This doesn’t mean we still get to “purposefully” mess up, God still calls us to be Christ-like and follow His commandments. The difference is that he graciously and mercifully forgives us when we do mess up. It is a beautiful thing. I am so thankful for the cross and the price that Jesus paid for me. It moves me to worship Him and forever glorify his name. 

I don’t know if any of what I said to the boys sunk in, but I pray that it at least planted a seed. I pray that they would continue to think and ask questions about what it means to be a Christian. Those boys mean the world to me, and I am so thankful that God is allowing me to be a part of their lives. I pray that one day I get to witness the life changing moment when they choose to follow Jesus. What an exciting day that will be!

I am thankful for my Sunday school kids. They have taught me that I don't have to have an extravagant and perfect lesson every Sunday. The Lord can use an ordinary teaching and my unprepared lessons to initiate conversation like these. Thank you Lord for these precious souls!

"And at that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 18:1-4

One Out Of A Million

What are the odds? One of my favorite pastime games. It is similar to Truth or Dare but is ALWAYS A DARE. Brilliant. The gist of the game is that you ask a friend, "What are the odds you will...", for example they could answer, "1 out of 10". You each think of a number 1-10 and say the number together. If you choose their number then they have to do the dare. It is exhilarating, hilarious and provides priceless memories. It is even better when you guess their number one out of a million. Once the same number is said, the silence and shock is quickly followed by loud screams of amazement and excitement. Everyone screams "Seriously?! What are the odds that would have happened?!"

That is how I feel about my life when I look back and see all that the Lord has done. I am nobody extraordinary by any means. I love simple, ordinary things. I love when I feel like my life is in order: when I feel like I am in control. However, that temporary control is quickly shattered when the Lord comes in and wrecks your life.

I am twenty-six years old, single, and have no children. I have an older brother and two younger sisters who make me laugh and are always encouraging. I have incredible parents, who visibly love the Lord and desire for their children to have the best in life by glorifying God. I grew up as a "Pastor's kid" living up to all the stereotypes that come with the title. In high school, I no longer wanted to be the "good girl." I was tired of living up to everyone's expectations and wanted to prove them wrong: that I wasn't "the good girl." Lord have mercy. Praise the Lord for parents who love me no matter what and didn't kill me when they wanted to. This rebellious stage went on all through high school. It wasn't until my freshman year in college that I realized this wasn't the life I wanted to live. The Lord drastically changed my heart and I began living for Him and no longer for my self.

I attended the University of South Alabama and made some incredible friends who made my college experience unforgettable. I graduated in the spring of 2011, with a degree in Recreational Therapy. I had a plan for my life after college. (I know, not controlling at all). I always imagined that I would meet my husband and get married right out of college, have a career, start a family, and live happily ever after. Well, the Lord had other plans for my life. I lived at home for a year after I graduated. All my friends were married or had moved away. I applied for job after job and had dozens of interviews all ending with a big loud, NO. So there I was living with my parents, with no job, and no friends. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I was depressed and alone. I was mad at God for not following through with the plan that I had for my life.

In 2012, I got a job in Chattanooga, TN as a Teacher's Assistant at a preschool for typical and atypical children. I finally felt like my life was going places. I was in a new city and had new friends. I was happy and content with living in Chattanooga for the rest of my life. SIKE! After a year, I decided to move back to Mobile to get my Master's in education. That dream was quickly shattered when I finished a semester of classes and realized that I never wanted to be in school ever again. So, I applied for the Assistant Camp Director position at Camp SMILE and somehow got it (thank you Lord). It was an amazing job that gave me a steady income and fit well for my single life. I also decided to get involved in Trinity Family, a new church plant in Trinity Gardens. My life was great or so I thought.

Trinity Gardens is a small community of a little over 3,000 people, located just south of Prichard, AL.  It is predominately an African-American community with an average household income of less than $20,000 a year. The people in this community take pride in their neighborhood. Because of this, Trinity Gardens has its own culture and contributions; but it also has its own areas of difficulty, challenge and hardship. It is a community that values family, loyalty and honesty. They lay their cards all out on the table for everyone to see. This is the exact opposite of who I am. I hide behind this mask hoping that it looks like I have it all together when in reality I am dying inside. I refuse to let others see the reality of my heart.

As I began to get involved with Trinity Family, I continued to hold onto things and hide behind my mask.  As I began to build relationships with the people in the community, I saw how real and open they were with me and how dishonest and closed I was with them. So, the Lord began to lift the mask and reveal to me the sinfulness of my heart. For years I had pushed down the hurt, shame, and brokenness until I couldn't bear it anymore. It was like a volcano erupting in my heart: an overflowing mess and it wouldn't stop. But isn't that where the Lord meets us the most? Right in the thick of it.

I think that everyone involved in Trinity Family would agree with me in saying that none of us are the same person as when we first attended Trinity Family. The Lord used the honesty and openness of the community to go into the darkest places of my heart and bring light. The Lord wrecked my life. He revealed to me how sinful my heart is but how righteous and merciful He is. I am not the same. I am free from the bondage of my sin. He has made me new and I will forever glorify the Lord and praise His name.

The Lord changed my heart and I am forever grateful. As my heart became more open it began to fall more in love with the community of Trinity Gardens. I built relationships with the children and began to get a glimpse into their lives. That is when the Lord placed this desire in my heart: a desire to be a faithful presence in the lives of the children of Trinity Gardens. I pray that the Youth Enrichment Program will give the children more opportunities to succeed and follow their dreams. But most importantly, I pray that these relationships will be mutually transforming, so that our hearts will be changed and transformed for the glory of God.

This is not the life that I planned. Not even close. But isn't that how it always is? Our lives never go as we plan because God has a better plan than we could ever imagine. He knows our hearts and desires better than us. I pray that this blog would be encouraging to you as I begin a life in Trinity Gardens. It will be an adventure as I start the Youth Enrichment Program and continue to live this unpredictable life that the Lord has planned for me.

So, years ago if you had asked me, "What are the odds that you will quit your job, live by faith, and begin a life in Trinity Gardens?" I would have said,

"One out of a million."

"For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare."

Psalm 40:5